The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness Hardcover – March 26, 2024

After finishing Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation, I couldn’t wait to recommend it to my family, friends, and others. I truly believe this book is a must-read for anyone with a smartphone, children, or, well, a pulse. Smartphones’ impact has been so fast and pervasive in our culture that we are only beginning to understand how they are changing us.Because of that, The Anxious Generation is one of the most important nonfiction books I have read this year, perhaps in several years. While many have expressed concern about the impact of mobile phones and social media on our youth, Haidt has made it his mission to uncover the symptoms, explain the effects, and convince us to change how we raise our kids regarding phones and social media.The insights provided in The Anxious Generation make a compelling case for reevaluating the age at which we give our children phones, the extent of their Internet and social media access, and the value of free play. Haidt argues that smartphones, social media, and helicopter parenting have contributed to a decline in the mental well-being of young people. The book offers practical solutions crucial for fostering the emotional maturity and stability of our children and ourselves.At the book’s center are four cultural norms Haidt argues we must implement to address the mental health crisis among our youth. These norms serve as a framework for his argument and practical solutions.First, no smartphones before high school. Parents should delay children’s entry into round-the-clock internet access by giving them only basic phones (phones with limited apps and no internet browser) before ninth grade (roughly 14).Second, no social media before 16. Let kids get through the most vulnerable period of brain development before connecting them to a constant stream of social comparison and algorithmically chosen influencers, which can significantly impact their self-esteem and mental health.Next, phone-free schools. All elementary through high school, students should store their phones, smartwatches, and other personal devices to send or receive texts in phone lockers or locked pouches during the school day. This policy is crucial in creating a distraction-free environment that allows students to focus on their studies and social interactions.And, last, far more unsupervised play and childhood independence. That’s the way children naturally develop social skills, overcome anxiety, and become self-governing young adults.Some money quotes?“My central claim in this book is that these two trends—overprotection in the real world and underprotection in the virtual world—are the major reasons why children born after 1995 became the anxious generation.”“People don’t get depressed when they face threats collectively; they get depressed when they feel isolated, lonely, or useless.”“The two big mistakes we’ve made: overprotecting children in the real world (where they need to learn from vast amounts of direct experience) and underprotecting them online (where they are particularly vulnerable during puberty).”“While the reward-seeking parts of the brain mature earlier, the frontal cortex—essential for self-control, delay of gratification, and resistance to temptation—is not up to full capacity until the mid-20s, and preteens are at a particularly vulnerable point in development”“In this new phone-based childhood, free play, attunement, and local models for social learning are replaced by screen time, asynchronous interaction, and influencers chosen by algorithms. Children are, in a sense, deprived of childhood.”“We don’t let preteens buy tobacco or alcohol, or enter casinos. The costs of using social media, in particular, are high for adolescents, compared with adults, while the benefits are minimal. Let children grow up on Earth first, before sending them to Mars.”“Stress wood is a perfect metaphor for children, who also need to experience frequent stressors in order to become strong adults.”“Children can only learn how to not get hurt in situations where it is possible to get hurt, such as wrestling with a friend, having a pretend sword fight, or negotiating with another child to enjoy a seesaw when a failed negotiation can lead to pain in one’s posterior, as well as embarrassment. When parents, teachers, and coaches get involved, it becomes less free, less playful, and less beneficial. Adults usually can’t stop themselves from directing and protecting.”“By designing a firehose of addictive content that entered through kids’ eyes and ears, and by displacing physical play and in-person socializing, these companies have rewired childhood and changed human development on an almost unimaginable scale.”“Gen Z became the first generation in history to go through puberty with a portal in their pockets that called them away from the people nearby and into an alternative universe that was exciting, addictive, unstable, and—as I will show—unsuitable for children and adolescents.”“Over the course of many decades, we found ways to protect children while mostly allowing adults to do what they want. Then quite suddenly, we created a virtual world where adults could indulge any momentary whim, but children were left nearly defenseless. As evidence mounts that phone-based childhood is making our children mentally unhealthy, socially isolated, and deeply unhappy, are we okay with that trade-off? Or will we eventually realize, as we did in the 20th century, that we sometimes need to protect children from harm even when it inconveniences adults?”“We are embodied creatures; children should learn how to manage their bodies in the physical world before they start spending large amounts of time in the virtual world.”“One way that companies get more users is by failing to enforce their own rules prohibiting users under 13. In August 2019, I had a video call with Mark Zuckerberg, who, to his credit, was reaching out to a wide variety of people, including critics. I told him that when my children started middle school, they each said that most of the kids in their class (who were 10 or 11 at the start of sixth grade) had Instagram accounts. I asked Zuckerberg what he planned to do about that. He said, “But we don’t allow anyone under 13 to open an account.” I told him that before our call I had created a fake account for a fictional 13-year-old girl and I encountered no attempt to verify my age claim. He said, “We’re working on that.” While writing this chapter (in August 2023), I effortlessly created another fake account. There is still no age verification, even though age verification techniques have gotten much better in the last four years nor is there any disincentive for preteens to lie about their age.”“Our kids can do so much more than we let them. Our culture of fear has kept this truth from us. They are like racehorses stuck in the stable.”“Many of the best adventures are going to happen with other children in free play.“And when that play includes kids of mixed ages, the learning is deepened because children learn best by trying something that is just a little beyond their current abilities— in other words, something a slightly older kid is doing. Older kids can also benefit from interacting with younger kids, taking on the role of a teacher or older sibling. So, the best thing you can do for your young children is to give them plenty of playtime, with some age diversity, and a secure loving base from which they set off to play.“As for your own interactions with your child, they don’t have to be “optimized.” You don’t have to make every second special or educational.“It’s a relationship, not a class. But what you do often matters far more than what you say, so watch your own phone habits. Be a good role model who is not giving continuous partial attention to both the phone and the child.”

As a Xennial born in 1981, I grew up in a world that felt almost entirely disconnected from the digital age we now know. My childhood wasn’t defined by screens; the internet didn’t exist in the way it does today, and smartphones were years away from becoming a part of our everyday lives. Fast forward to today, and I find myself not only navigating the challenges of adult life with a smartphone in hand, but also parenting a child who is already becoming immersed in the digital world. This is the tension at the heart of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness—and it’s one that Jonathan Haidt explores in this startling and thought-provoking book.Haidt offers a hard-hitting analysis of how the dramatic shift in childhood experiences, fueled by screen time and digital immersion, is causing a mental health crisis. He doesn’t just argue that we’ve lost control over how children engage with technology, but he emphasizes the profound and often damaging effects this digital transformation has on developing minds. As a parent, I found myself both haunted and enlightened by the stories of how kids today are growing up under constant digital influence.For me, it’s not just about my own relationship with technology (though, let’s face it, the constant pull of my phone is hard to ignore). It’s about my child. My son may be too young for a smartphone, but already, at just six years old, I’m seeing how YouTube videos—the kind that glorify luxury toys, lavish lifestyles, and endless, rule-free play—are shaping his world. The influencers he watches lead a life that seems far removed from anything he could imagine, and it’s almost impossible for me not to wonder how this affects his ability to focus, to find joy in simple, non-digital experiences.The concept of "the great rewiring of childhood" struck me most profoundly. The book paints a stark picture of how today's kids are growing up in a constant feedback loop of dopamine hits, designed to grab their attention and keep them hooked. It's not just that our kids are distracted, it’s that they are actively being conditioned to expect instant gratification, to struggle with deep focus, and to navigate the world through fragmented, bite-sized content. It’s no surprise that anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues are on the rise.But here’s the irony: I read The Anxious Generation on a digital device. I didn’t pick up a hardcover. Instead, I used an e-reader, the very kind of tool Haidt warns about in his book. It was impossible for me to escape the irony of digesting a book about the dangers of digital immersion while using the very technology it critiques. This only amplified the book's message, making me reflect more deeply on how even as I try to understand the problem, I am still caught in the web of digital influence. It’s a reminder of how hard it is to break free, even when you’re aware of the issue.The Anxious Generation isn’t just for parents. It's for anyone who uses technology—basically, all of us. Haidt pulls no punches in showing how we’re all complicit in allowing the internet to rewire us, how we’re all susceptible to the addictive qualities of endless scrolling and the demands of a digital world that never turns off. As much as I recognize the benefits of connectivity, I also feel the weight of how deeply this addiction is eroding not just our children’s mental health, but our own sense of well-being.This book challenges us to take action—not just for the sake of the next generation, but for ourselves. We are handing over our time, our focus, and our mental health to the internet in ways that we’re only just beginning to understand. If we don’t acknowledge this problem, if we don’t make conscious decisions about how we interact with technology, we risk losing something much deeper than just time. We risk losing our humanity.The Anxious Generation is a wake-up call. It’s not a doomsday prophecy, but it is a call to action. We need to understand how we got here, what’s at stake, and what we can do to reclaim our lives—and the lives of our children—before it’s too late.